Holistic Therapies

So for those who don’t know, I have a TBI. It happened when a drunk driver hit a bunch of cars, including the one I was a passenger in, on the I5 in southern California. I was airlifted to the hospital as Jane Doe where I remained in a coma for two months.

I had one neurologist in the ICU and another in the rehab hospital, and they were both one of a kind amazing. The most difficult thing about the study of nerves and the brain is that so little is actually known. This means a lot of guess work by the doctors. For this reason my physician during rehab perscribed me a lot of holistic therapy type stuff. People online seem to get mad when it is suggested that nature might work better than narcotics or ssris but in my experience fresh air and sunlight helped a lot when paired with meds. And exercise greatly helped me to get off of drugs like fenobarbatol or codeine or w/e else. And although full on medical procedures helped a lot I was able to keep surgery away with intensive physical therapy, including Pilates.

So when the new administration says they are going to crack down on regulation for holistic treatment and restrict insurance policies you can be 100% sure that this will kill people.

As the opioid crisis gets more and more attention politicians are doubling down on their investments with big pharma. More and more pills are getting shipped to communities all over the country and the prescriptions are litteraly being forced on patients. Just today I spoke to a lady who went to her doctor for insomnia. He insisted that she was depressed, even though she was reluctant about it, and sent her home with a Zoloft script.

This development seriously concerns me. Pay attention to you and your children’s medical needs, do your own research.

Smoke weed erry day ­čśë


Death, the most final form of loss

“The last enemy that shall be conquered is death.”

I have that tattooed on my chest. It was the line engraved on Lily Potter’s tomb stone.

Death isn’t a difficult concept to grasp, just a final one. JK Rauling didn’t come up with the line herself, it’s paraphrased from second Corinthians. It speaks so true to me because life can feel like just a chain of enemies and challenges, always survival is the ultimate goal though until finally a day comes where you misstep. It’s not always, or even usually, your fault but it happens to us all. Death is our final obstacle and once you meet it the rest go away. In that way death should really feel like a comfort.

But it doesn’t. Each time it happens it hurts a little deeper but I cry a little less. Expected or surprising it makes us all focus on the fragility of life. Many people choose not to deal with it, and there is no shame in that. Keep busy and keep loving life, but that doesn’t make death less real.

I’m willing to bet we’ve all met people who have lost a mother, a wife, a daughter. Let’s not pitty them for one day this will be us too.

Net Neutrality 

I think the FCC makes their final vote on December 12, it keeps getting delayed though so I’m not totally sure. There were some protests at Verizon stores nationwide the other day. Plus people have been writing letters and placing phone calls to Congress, you can still text 50409 resist followed by a message like SAVE NET NEUTRALITY NOW! And you will have the option of faxing your representatives immediately. Who knows if it’s too late but it never hurts to try.

The law to repeal net neutrality is deceptively called the Internet Freedom Act or something of that nature. It’s purposefully deceptive so that in passing it sounds like a good thing, but really it is freedom for internet providers to package deals and charge more. 

It’s probably all happening now after the Bernie Sanders campaign because the baby boomers and the generation xers just realized how to use the internet. It sucks because now the high ups want to close it all down and operate more like China or Russia apparently. Keep us ignorant. Small businesses will suffer because they’ll lose a vital service, like online delivery or free/cheep advertising. Indie films and news services will suffer, in fact my blog will suffer! Videogames will suffer because even fewer people will be able to afford high speed internet.  But it will close a major internet highway just as the government wants. Hopefully it won’t pass, pups crossed.


My First Joint

I have become a very vocal pro cannabis advocate in recent years, but unlike most “stoners” I had my first joint when I was 19. I went over to practice guitar with a guy I had met in a beginning guitar class. He was nice, just returned from a second tour in Afghanistan and was unable to find a job. Ya know, as is The American way not to take care of our troops. The financial aid alone covered classes plus some spending money, but for bills and rent…he had to sell what was then a non-recreationally legal drug. Sad.

So anyway, that’s how I got my first joint. I had kind of a connection with this guy from guitar class and he invited me over to his apartment to practice, a yellow one floor building with a grass area in the center. We set up out in the grass with our guitars and that joint, it was a strangely sunny day in town. I specifically remember too a cop walking down the street but not being worried about it. He must not have noticed, or at least not have cared because he walked right passed us. We just laughed and kept our attempts at music. Time slowed down in a way that made the beat easier to follow. Of course what I most remember is the break in pain, and I’ve been smoking ever since.

Never much improved on the guitar though.


Is 2017 Over Yet?

Last year at about this time I wrote how 2016 was such a bad year according to the majority. For me personally, I got married to my best friend and we moved into our house. Made it a home, politically it was rough though. That’s what I thought…and rightly. Here we are as a country with mass shootings every other day, crude oil pipelines breaking almost as often, bombing countries every day that we don’t even know about, and global warming deniers are literally falling into the ocean as they continue to deny.

Well 2017 really wasn’t any better, and how could it have been? President Trump, I’m not opposed to saying it. Only good thing he’s done is get rid of TPP and I just read today that he ended the blockade with Yemen. He’s also opening up the artic for drilling though, started up more pipelines which have since leaked, pissed off North Korea, and this GOP tax bill must be a joke. It passed House, got changed some to pass Senate, still suck but now has to pass House again. Oh yeah, and then there’s Ajit Pai… So things got worse. It’s been nice to see so many Americans get involved though, it’s no revolution but I myself have stayed awake along with many others.

For me most importantly, 2017 was a real job hunt year. For the first couple of months I continued to apply for salary jobs that I had education for but lacked experience…but the rejection seriously was getting me down though. I got more realistic about it. I found work with an employment agency, Galt, that helps people with disabilities. It is mainly various manual labor jobs at the university. Cleaning dorms, picking up trash outside, slopping food in dining and working in the central kitchen. It was hard work but it paid above minimum wage and got me out of the house. Plus the babysitting gigs of course, but I liked this better because it was within walking or bus riding distance. No crazy transfers either and no giant hills. I still get called in once in a while but those jobs sort of dried up after summer.

After five interviews I finally found a winner though. I’m going to work for the at home care assisted living place my husband works. Training is next Monday threw Wednesday, plus I have a job application out at a vegan grocery store by my house just in case. So fingers crossed, there is potential room to grow at the caretaker job so that’s a plus. I can eventually make my way up to CNA or who knows, which fits into my goal of a career geared toward helping those with physical and/or mental disabilities.

Hopefully 2018 will be better as a whole. Hopefully the tax bill changes enough so that my husband and I won’t have to pay a bunch more to receive less. I’m staying optimistic, as long as 2018 comes through as being the year of full employment so that my dogs can continue their privlegded lives I’ll be happy.


Winter Walks

I love living in a house, with a yard. Since its the last day of November let me just say that that is one of the things I am most thankful for. It’s hard to believe that our first year with them was in a second floor apartment! I can’t believe I trained them there, it was such a chore but they’ve improved vastly. Plus the yard, and during summer the dog door, is fabulous. 

I walk them or take them to the dog park every day in the summer. I thought we were close to the dog park at our old place but hot damn, we’re even closer now. Plus this dog park is bigger.

I’ll admit though, during the rainy season which pretty much lasts all of the other three seasons, we don’t walk much. It use to be two to three walks rain or shine, but here it’s one to two walks only when it doesn’t rain. Ed and Eddy are terrified of rain, poor babies, and it’s hard enough just to get them out back.

Today was a nice brisk overcast day, no rain yet. And snow hasn’t made its way to town yet. We took a nice long walk around the neighborhood. They’re always so happy! They waggle and sniff, and bark at anything that moves. On sunny days, when all the neighborhood dogs are in their yards, they start up barking contests. Today was quiet though.

We’ve switched over to a new leash now days. From the time we brought them home until pretty recently they just had ordinary leashes that were hooked up together. Now, although still hooked up, they have weird rubbery leashes. It’s wonderful because Ed is still a major puller but it no longer effects Eddy. They can still kinda just do their own thing but I can keep them from running in traffic and stuff. I love my little furboys!



I’ve never much thought about it until tonight I guess, home alone. Reading hashtags.

Guys have whistled at me and made snide remarks, that’s just part of being a woman unfortunately. But it was during my first year at the university when I was 21 years old that both these things happened.

The second time it happened I was at a club in Portland with some friends. I was single at the time, me and the hubby were talking but we weren’t a thing yet, so I was just getting loaded and dancing. Being loud, I’m sure, and happy. Just innocent fun when all the sudden, out of no where, a dick was in my hand.

I was stunned, didn’t even look at him just walked out of the dance room to find my friends. I was in shock, I mean who would do such a gross thing. My one friend got in a fight with her sister or something and god knows where they were, and they were our ride, but my other friend just wondered around downtown with me listening to me ramble. It was everything to me that night and I don’t think I ever even told her.

So I was doing what any crazy shocked drunk lady would do, I started yelling. Still rambling too at my friend but also any man on the street I saw, just telling them how much men disgusted me, and they all seemed to understand. It was probably just like any other night in a city, and all the drama took me back to another night not so long before, the first time it happened. And thinking about it just panicked me more.

I had been out at the bar, or as it is called the pub, that night too. At the time the town was just coming out of being dry and we didn’t have too many options. I was with some friends I drank with a lot back then. One of them was this Saudi guy, he was cute and always had hella weed on him. Plus his ex girlfriend had a hebrew name like me and so it all just had me curious I guess. Anyway, I knew him a decent amount at this point. We’d hooked up a couple of times netflix and chill style so I guess I asked him to walk me back to my dorm. I don’t remember at all really except I woke up naked, sore, and hungover the next day and he was gone. There was no mess but then again he had always used a condom before so… I was disoriented. I tried calling him later to figure out what had happened that night but he didn’t answer, and I never saw him again.

And to tell you the truth I can’t think of a better way for it to have ended.