He Pood

If anyone would have told me that once I bring my dogs home they would become my everything, and their bodily functions would become the main focus of my life I woulda told them they were trippin. It’s true though, this next part is going to get a tad bit funky so if you yourself are not the owner of a pet or small child you may not care to read too far on. You have been warned.

My dog’s names are Ed and Pepe, Pepe was originally Eddy. You know like Ed and Eddy from the cartoon on CN. These names were good and cute but just this past Tuesday Eric and I decided that Eddy was really more of a Pepe le Puppy. His tag still says Eddy of course but we are calling him Pepe. Anyway though the daily routine is for them to wake me up at anywhere from 5am to 8am, I tie on their harnesses and double leash, take them for a walk by the river, bring them home and feed them. Then of course there is much wrestling throughout the day and also 1 or 2 more walks. As the day heats up though, or if it gets too late and the mosquitoes come out, we stop going all the way to the river. They usually both poop once in the morning and then once later in the day after they digest. Pepe though can be annoying because he’s very particular about where he poops. Also since Ed is quite a bit bigger he sometimes pulls Pepe away mid poop, sadly keeping Pepe to a regular pooping schedule has become a great focus in my life.
Anyway Pepe only had one poop Tueday, which sometimes happens due to his smallness I assume, so I didn’t think much of it. On Wednesday though when Pepe still didn’t poo I was concerned. We went on 4 long walks not to mention tons of water. Apparently dehydration causes constipation, since my fiance and I are both fairly frugal and also since Ed and Pepe are each only like 14 and 11 lbs dogs now that they are fully grown we decided to buy them cat dishes. It did seem like a good idea at the time but now they constantly run out of water. To make sure this doesn’t become a problem I find myself constantly refilling their water bowls, especially on Wednesday but to no avail. So for this morning’s (Thursday) walk I was a bit nervous. I gave them some water, harnessed them up, and off we went!
Ed pooped first thing down stairs, Pepe though like usual couldn’t find a pleasing spot. So we headed towards the river. They were both so cute in smelling everything and running/waggling excitedly. I have to watch them both cause they both tend to eat random things they find. This is curious since they had been strays for a long time before we adopted them, you’d think they’d know better than to eat weird shit but whatever. After smelling lots of dirt and walking in many circles Pepe finally found a spot that pleased him! I was so excited and gave him much praise as we made our trek home. The best thing about it was that since Pepe pood so far off our apartment complex property I didn’t need to scoop. They fine if you are caught not scooping near the homes but I have a strict no scooping in nature policy. My father taught me this when we walked our family dog as a kid.
Getting back to our staircase I scooped up one pup in each arm and walked up. Let me explain, the day we brought them home from the animal rescue we also learned that among many other fears they are afraid to climb stairs. Or at least Pepe is but in his comradery with his brother Ed also refuses. We’ve tried coaxing them in many ways, time and time again but they just get way too scared! They hide there faces, Pepe pees himself (which is partly how he got the nick name Piss Wiggle) so from now on we just carry them. Except sometimes when it’s crazy hot Ed runs up on his own, which only further proves that he can. Anyway though this summer morning wasn’t hot enough so in my arms they went and I hobbled us all upstairs. Once home they hopped around until they had their little cat bowls full of doggie food.

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