The Burden of Cleanliness

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I don’t know if small dogs in general are usually cleaner or dirtier than big dogs but let me be real with you all for a second, my dogs are gross. Ed gets into everything nasty that he can find, especially when we’re outside, and Eddy always feels the need to stick so close to his brother that he does occasionally get peed on. Plus in what I believe is an effort to attract more renters the management company waters the lawn a lot and if I let the boys run in any shaded areas they come home muddy. If you don’t mind me getting high and mighty for second, this is a ridiculous and completely irresponsible amount of water being used. Earlier this week I wrote them a kind yet strongly worded letter about it, because it bothers me quite a bit and apparently I have become THAT guy. They needed to know though about the waist going on, the sprinklers are on a timer so it’s not as if the people sitting inside know what’s going on. I not only got a quick response but I’m happy to report less sprinkler activity than usual the past few days, and once summer ends I’m told they’ll be turned off completely.
Anyway though to stay on point, dogs are gross. Bathing two dogs simultaneously is also a huge pain. I suppose I could wash them separately but the two in one method seems more efficient.

So this is how I do it. I fill up the tub with a very shallow amount of warm water, I get the previously determined dog towel ready along with a big plastic cup and baby shampoo, then I do the hardest part of all which is to round my boys up and plop them in the water. They HATE this, like I’ve stated before Ed loves only dirty river water but Eddy is terrified by wetness all together. It goes pretty quickly, bath time does. I like to be fast about it so it can just be over asap.
As soon as I pull the drainer mechanism a very wet Eddy jumps into my lap, so I grab the towel and rub him dry. Ed stays put and whines a hell of a lot but I’ve learned that the process goes a lot smoother if I just ignore him. The first few bath times I dried Ed first due to him being a baby about it but this was a mistake since Eddy is able to jump out of the tub and reek havoc. Ed on the other hand is stuck inside the tub due to his bad hip, he of course tries to shake dry but the water droplets stay inside the tub for the most part. By the time Eddy is dry enough to set free Ed doesn’t take long to dry.

Once all this is done and I open the bathroom door, they run all about the apartment. They rub their bodies all over the carpets and furniture, I guess trying to pick up some familiar stank. I still haven’t picked up a hair dryer but I figure as long as it’s not raining we can just go air dry on the porch. I bathed them early, thank goodness, before all this dreadful smoke started up. For those of you outside of the Northwest pocket, we have a huge four state-wide fire going on over here. It’s hot and smokey everywhere, and the dogs want no part of it.
Anyway though it’s small out there on our deck, not much room for anything besides the BBQ. My mom gave us some old plastic patio furniture though. Because of the lack of room I generally keep the chairs stacked and just sit on them that way while our long dead house warming plant remains on the small plastic table. It’s completely dried up but I figure why throw it out if I have nothing better…
The fortunate thing is that the boys finally understand that they are not allowed to stick their heads through the bars and since they are both atrocious jumpers it’s not at all stressful to sit out with them. They just sit or stand around, ears up. This is an activity I am crazy about, the farms and the trees are just begging for adventure. I sit back with my fur babies and we soak it all up together.


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