It’s like Ron Swanson once said, “everything I do is the attitude of an award winner because I have won an award.”
The method described above is however valid, in my humble opinion, so it’s important to remember not to jump to conclusions about people. It’s popular, in friendships and romantic relationships, to want to try and test the commitment of your partner but I would like to talk about why this is a grave mistake. It is at least if your banking on the other person to change or try harder. The major flaw here is what if they are testing you the same way you are testing them and it’s all just a game. First of all I am strongly of the belief that people very seldomly change, and if they do it’s only for something truly life changing. And what’s more, that’s okay. You originally chose to be with this person because of who they are, or at least presumably you did, so expecting them to be someone different now is outrageous. Secondly how can you honestly expect a person to beg for your affection when your not willing to beg for theirs? Even if they were to beg I’m willing to bet you wouldn’t think very much of them after that.
People are who they are, and you too have the right to be yourself. I’ve had it happen before that someone has come at me with an ultimatum, and I’ve had it happen before that I wasn’t cool enough to be myself around a certain person. When I was younger the approval of other people meant a lot to me. I wanted to be liked and I would make an effort to be the person people wanted me to be whether it was the ideal girlfriend, daughter, or just the agreeable sidekick. It was important that people felt they could trust me but at the same time I felt like I should always also trust the people in my life.
This changed when I turned twenty-four, and I remember the moment it did exactly for until then I was what most would call a people pleaser. Also from the beginning of my high school years until my early twenties I had been in a relationship. So when it ended, even though it was both mutual and a long time coming, I was completely unprepared for it. I knew nothing about being a single lady or how creepy single guys could be, and let me tell you that I was not ready for single life. I know many people live for it, and power to them, but for me it was far too stressful and fake.
I met and got pretty serious with Eric at the age of twenty-two, definitely by twenty-four we felt pretty settled down. So for me twenty-four was the age that it all just clicked. I realized that most of the when guys were nice to me it was only because I was young, cute, and naive and that even most of the time when anybody else is nice to you it’s because you’ve got the power to do something for them. True friends are special and rare, and these are the ones worth fighting for but before you can attain them you’ve got to find your own inner strength. This means not settling for those who cause you anxiety. I believe that is why we tend to gravitate towards building a family as we get older, we want to know who our close circle really is and we always want them around us. So we make a family of our own from our friends, significant others, cats, dogs, snakes, and whoever else we can trust to hold dear.