October 15, 2015 marks the one year count down until I get to marry my best friend! I told myself I wouldn’t start planning or talking about it until the one year mark and now it has finally arrived! This has been day two of my wedding dress body workout (I do Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday), in addition to that though I’ve started drinking Shakeology every morning too. I lost a ton of weight with Shakeology and Piyo the summer before last, and so I imagine it’s the most effective way for me to do this. I’m also going to cut soda out of my diet completely, although I have already cut down since summer ended. I also have a checklist of things I need to do each month in order to have a wedding in a year, that is how I’m going to try and keep a handle on it. The first section is 10-12 months before the wedding and it’s quite daunting. The packet also comes with a referral list though so that does make me feel less tense, I could also get a coordinator but I would like to try doing it on my own first.
- We’ve got a very nice venue booked already, just down the road. It’s called the Green Villa Barn. From the outside it looks like a giant barn and from the inside it’s a ballroom. It has a lovely upstairs area too in the front for the bride’s quarters and groom’s quarters. The outside is lovely, right next to a lavender garden. Pictures will be amazing. It’s nothing like I’ve always imagined my wedding would be, I’ve always wanted to elope in Vegas and not involve anyone BUT as soon as I saw this place I knew I had to have it. Like all of me and Eric’s big decisions we picked this place quite suddenly and I couldn’t be happier that we did.
- The next thing I need to do is create a guest list (which I’ve pretty much done) and get all the addresses.
- I need to select my wedding party which I’ve also done.
- I need to make a wedding Pinterest…please I did that years ago…
- Start a separate folder for receipts…it’s more of a shelf but this step is also taken care of.
- Create a wedding website.
- Find an officiate. We haven’t really started the search yet but I do think we’ve decided to get a judge, since neither of us are religious and even if we were we come from different religious backgrounds. I think a ship captain would be a really fun officiate but…that might be difficult to find.
- Start looking at wedding dresses for inspiration. Again, I’ve done this on Pinterest but haven’t actually been to a store yet. I’ve mentally noted some shops around Salem though, and I’ve got a style idea in my head more or less.
- Research, interview, and book a photographer.
- Schedule tasting for cakes and caterers. This honestly sounds like the most fun part of planning to me.
- Research hair and makeup looks. This too I have done on Pinterest.
- Research songs you would like to play. We’ve got DJ Sticky Soundwavezz but still need to work on particulars.
A question that I get pretty often is, will I be taking Eric’s last name? Let me tell you right from the get go that the answer is yes. To be clear, equality is of the ut-most importance and I do consider myself a feminist although I do take slack sometimes. I get teased once in a while that I suck at feminism because I want to be a homemaker, want to stay home with our dogs (or kids as the case may be), I want men to open doors and pull back chairs for me, I love being called ma’am or darling or honey (don’t find it degrading at all) and I look forward to taking my husband’s sir name. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very proud of my own last name, I’m proud of it’s Jewish ancestry and I’m proud of it’s history. My grandfather changed it after WW2 moving from Lithuania to Israel because he wanted it to sound less Russian and more Hebrew. Honestly, I love that. I will always carry it with me as a maiden name BUT I’m joining Eric’s family and I want to show it. I will be proud to add another name to my title, even though I am aware the processes will be a major pain in the ass. I don’t believe that changing my last name detracts any from who I am, or who I was before I met my fiance. I was then and am now that same person.
It’s been almost exactly three years since Eric and I moved in together, and I think that is the ultimate compatibility test for a couple. No need for premarital counseling. We’ve lived together since the very beginning really. We met online in a chatroom called OMEGLE, it’s not a dating site or anything just a place to go when you’re bored. It was the day before Valentines day 2012 and I don’t know about him but I was feeling pretty bad. Mostly lonely I suppose thinking about failed relationships with assholes…but upon connecting with Eric I found that he was different than the rest. He wasn’t just another horny guy creeping around cyber-space but an actual person looking for conversation. He lived in Louisville, Ky at the time while I was all the way over in Oregon living in a college dorm. We had a three hour time difference between us but we still managed to talk every day. He was also working two jobs, one at as a packer at UPS and one as a pizza delivery boy at Dominoes Pizza. We kept in touch with Facebook and Skype, and even through texting. I often found myself canceling plans to go out so that I could just talk to him. It was very innocent and I was often teased for having a “virtual” boyfriend.
Then in May of that same year Eric decided to come visit me. Being that plane tickets across the country are so expensive he bought a Greyhound ticket. He spent three long days and two nights on that bus just to come visit a girl he didn’t really even know! He was (and still is) the sweetest person I’d ever met, most guys are not even willing to drive twenty minutes just to spend time with a girl and here this guy was willing to tackle this great feet for me. It was a beautiful gesture. He stayed in my dorm with me for a few days before catching the bus back to his home in Kentucky. When he got home we continued to speak daily as usual until August when I made the journey to visit him.
Going back home without him after that was extremely difficult. We still spoke/texted constantly but it just didn’t feel the same anymore. In October 2012 he made the move to permanently be with me. I was still in a dorm situation with some roommates so he rented a room in a house down the street, but this only lasted for one term. During winter break we found an apartment of our own to more into. From there it’s all history. Eric and I have been through many changes and struggles in our time together and I know that together we can handle whatever else comes our way. I’m lucky to have found such a compatible partner to take on the world with.