I have always wanted kids. I know I’ve written that before (it’s on my mind a lot) and also I know that it isn’t presently the feminist thing to say but there you have it. When I was in like third or fourth grade actually I decided I should adopt. Same thing as why I get my dogs from rescues, there are too damn many as it is so I advocate for recycling. (My first dog, Lizzie, was a begal/boxer/maybe pit bull mut. I was a teenager at the time and my parents did eventually just take her in as their own. I found her online, a guy named Rainbow had saved her from her third day at a three day kill shelter but didn’t have room for her in his Hollywood apartment. Ed and Eddy are my second, and you know that story.)
Anyway with the whole getting married soon thing, I’ve reclaimed my will to adopt a kid. First of all, having my own biological kids isn’t strictly off the table. My parents both really want grandkids, my father brings it up a lot. He wants somebody who shares his DNA, which seems weird…but what do I know? So that’s the main issue with adoption I guess, people are unsure they can love a “stranger.” Again, to me that is weird but what do I know? Aren’t all new babies strangers? Also, if I’m the one raising it why does anyone else need to have a say? I mean, of course my fiance/husband does but no one else. That’s the problem with social media, all the sudden so many people feel the need to give you their input.
I’m trying a new approach to life and how I live it. I’ve never been too self continous about things like appearance or having the new fad item. I have always stressed about doing the right thing though, about if how I choose to live will please those around me. The older I get though the more I realize that no one cares about pleasing me. I mean Eric does, my dogs do, but relationships with other people are a game. Well I’m not playing. I’m done questioning my values just because they don’t match up with the majority. It’s human nature to like the similar but I guess I’m a freak, and that’s okay. I like to be around people who are different, I like to be around people that make me think. I always have and I’m done feeling like an outsider for being inclusive.