Alright…hopefully this one sticks

Really truly not trying to jinx this one. That summer job cleaning didn’t last long. One month cleaning bathrooms and then another month power washing in the central kitchen (and honestly thay wasn’t even a full month), until I just couldn’t do it. I know some people like manual labor, and I will say something, it makes you appreciate everything a little more. All the same its not for me.

I still kept my nanny jobs going a bit, until one of the 4 year old boys just kept grabbing my boobs. All the time. I eventually quit but kept sending out resumes around. 

September was a month of no work for me. Three of those resumes turned into interviews. The Duck Store, the La Quinta, and finally Key Bank. I wasn’t the right fit for any of it.

As my readers know, I’ve been searching for quite a while. Since I graduated college in 2015 I’ve been looking casually, that’s the luxury of having a working husband I guess. I sent of some of my writing too but no big hits. Then about a year later just after getting married I started freaking out, not that I really needed too. Of all my friends who have graduated, starting in 2012, only a handful have gotten meaningful employment. Debt we all earned but careers? Not so much.

I’m looking for the positive though, I’m happy and relatively healthy. My husband and I both have preexisting conditions so that’s a constant fear now days, that our insurance will get taken away and without it we can’t afford my husband’s inhaler… It seems like everything is scary these days so who’s to say. He’s been so happy at his job all this time, plus their always short staffed, so I went for it. It’s caregiving for the elderly so it’s nothing I’m terribly unfamiliar with. Expecting to be happy with it indeed, just waiting for them to place me now.



I’ve never much thought about it until tonight I guess, home alone. Reading hashtags.

Guys have whistled at me and made snide remarks, that’s just part of being a woman unfortunately. But it was during my first year at the university when I was 21 years old that both these things happened.

The second time it happened I was at a club in Portland with some friends. I was single at the time, me and the hubby were talking but we weren’t a thing yet, so I was just getting loaded and dancing. Being loud, I’m sure, and happy. Just innocent fun when all the sudden, out of no where, a dick was in my hand.

I was stunned, didn’t even look at him just walked out of the dance room to find my friends. I was in shock, I mean who would do such a gross thing. My one friend got in a fight with her sister or something and god knows where they were, and they were our ride, but my other friend just wondered around downtown with me listening to me ramble. It was everything to me that night and I don’t think I ever even told her.

So I was doing what any crazy shocked drunk lady would do, I started yelling. Still rambling too at my friend but also any man on the street I saw, just telling them how much men disgusted me, and they all seemed to understand. It was probably just like any other night in a city, and all the drama took me back to another night not so long before, the first time it happened. And thinking about it just panicked me more.

I had been out at the bar, or as it is called the pub, that night too. At the time the town was just coming out of being dry and we didn’t have too many options. I was with some friends I drank with a lot back then. One of them was this Saudi guy, he was cute and always had hella weed on him. Plus his ex girlfriend had a hebrew name like me and so it all just had me curious I guess. Anyway, I knew him a decent amount at this point. We’d hooked up a couple of times netflix and chill style so I guess I asked him to walk me back to my dorm. I don’t remember at all really except I woke up naked, sore, and hungover the next day and he was gone. There was no mess but then again he had always used a condom before so… I was disoriented. I tried calling him later to figure out what had happened that night but he didn’t answer, and I never saw him again.

And to tell you the truth I can’t think of a better way for it to have ended.


Our country is desperate to go to war. Trump bombed Afghanistan pretty early on for unclear reasons and now it’s looking like something is going to happen with North Korea. Is it because it is the U.S. ‘s job to police unstable nations, or is it because both Afghanistan and North Korea have a rich opium supply?

If you notice throughout our countries long bloody history, we topple governments and steal resources a lot. Gold, slaves, uranium, oil, opium… whatever will satisfy our market economy. And when I say “our” I don’t so much mean you and I, I mean our elitest monarchs. 

That might seem like a dramatic thing to say but let’s look at the facts. Our nation fights about food stamps, healthcare, and education because we don’t have money but all but 8 of our nation’s senators voted to drop $700 billion on a new war budget. Those 8 were Bernie Sanders  (I), Jeff Merkeley  (D), Ron Wyden (D), Rand Paul  (R), Corner  (R), Gilibrand  (D), Leahy (D), and Lee (R); which means Liberal darlings Harris, Booker, and Warren all voted yes.

It’s terribly sad that so many of our leaders are willing to risk our lives, our families lives, so that they may profit but I guess that’s capitalism. What’s even more sad is How many of us are willing to accept it so long as we are not required to participate in the politics. This really does affect us all.

The rains finally started again yesterday but before that the fire season in Oregon, Washington, Montana and California has been horrible! Plus all the hurricanes and earthquakes! This is stuff that directly effects our quality of life. The air quality here was hazardous, requiring the humans to wear masks and the dogs wouldn’t even go out. That’s the direction our country and world is going. 
Imagine though if we took all that money and energy we use on war, and put it towards better infrastructure and green energy. Imagine how much better off we’d be as a home to all living things. It’s not even hard, we all just need to get involved.

(Votes to fund war)

Has the World Gone Madder or are More People Awake

Things have gotten more dramatic since November 2016, that’s for sure, even in the city I live. I don’t know if I wrote, my mom and I went to a comedy show of Kamau Bell and in the middle someone punched a security guard. Last week someone was shot and I believe killed at a motel a few streets from my house (I believe it was the same motel I had interviewed at) and today while I was at the store one lady started yelling at the man behind her in line because he had said something about sticking his cock in her butt.

So I know things like this have always happened, but it does seem crazier. Especially with all the natural disasters lately. I mean pretty much all of Oregon is on fire, along with California, Washington, and Montana. Canada too. Idaho had a 5.3 earthquake, Texas is under water and Hurricane Irma is forming near New York. These things seem closely related to climate change so hopefully society as a whole can channel all the fear and anger boiling up into energy that works to protect the environment. 

I wonder, especially with all the horrible weather here, if it’s because people are mad that they’re awake. Many people have credited the total eclipse on August 21st and although it was extremely cool I have my doubts about that. What seems possible though I’d the possibility that the frequency of these storms is being sped up by human caused global warming. I’ve written previously about how greatful I am to live in a place with clean water for my dogs, so in that same spirit I am usually greatful for our awesome air quality. During these fires our air has been worse than LA. Seriously, being outside earlier made me feel sick and poor Eddy had some trouble breathing. 

It’s been so bad it’s a wonder to me that pipelines are being expanded while wind farms are being torn sown and sold as real estate. I have not been shy in town hall meetings or with letters and phone calls to the board of commitions about my concern for the future, and local communities around the country are stepping it up. Local change spreads and it is clear that it is the best way to protect the lives of our pets and loved ones who rely on us.

Two and a Half Years

It’s been 2 1/2 years since we brought Ed and Eddy home. As I’ve written numerous times they are a handful. When we first brought them home we tried the crate training but they were just too loud, mostly Ed was and it made me feel bad for Eddy stuck in the box with him.

So we stopped the initial crate training, and my husband and I both loved having the dogs in bed with us at first. Moving into the house though, it became more difficult. They have WAY less accidents now that we have a yard but having them in the bed I was having to change and wash the bedding A LOT. Plus our bed is only a full size and they were getting a little too comfortable taking up space, so we decided to try the box again.

Now that we’re in a house we were able to use the so called ferber method, where you just let your baby cry until they get over it. This was extremely difficult and annoying but now that we don’t share walls it was possible…and now after a few months it’s finally paid off! Our house is a lot calmer now.

More Time for Dog Parks

After five weeks of waking up at 5:30am Monday through Friday to take the bus to working eight hours on my feet, going back to unemployment isn’t terrible. I mean I do miss the weekly paychecks…but I do like spending time with Ed and Eddy. 

My favorite thing about being on the UO custodian staff was definitely the work out. I went down one pant size, so after I was layed off I figured I ought to implement a new workout. Every morning I walk about six blocks to the Amazon dog park, let my boys run around, and walk back.

It’s real nice living so close to a dog park. Our Riverplace apartment was walking distance from a dog park too, but this dog park is much bigger and much more full of dogs. The boys lo e it of course and I get a bit of socialization out of it. We’ve been here just about one year now, and honestly I don’t know how we ever managed these dogs without a yard, but in that time we’ve become the notorious loud dog people. Our neighbors are real friendly though and the dogs are doing much better than they use to in social situations. This morning at the dog park little Eddy even allowed a man to bend down and pet him! Plus no fights with other dogs, maybe this new big city atmosphere is what we all needed.

Back to the Hunt

I haven’t written in a while because 40 hours a week of manual labor is exhausting. I was so sore and tired all the time, still managed to catch a few babysitting gigs on the side and man oh man, tired to the core.

Anyway though my custodian job at UO was only a temp job I found through an employment agency that helps the disabled find work, it’s called the Galt Foundation. It’s pretty small, two in Portland and one in Eugene, and I think it’s a really smart idea. Being disabled is limiting in a job search in ways I don’t think able-bodied people think much about, and let me tell you I would not recommend custodial work to anyone with previous fibromyalgia or joint pains or back problems or any combination. It will only get worse.

So anyway, for the summer they hired two restroom crews to clean two or three different buildings, one off campus and the other two on. The one off, which was only housing summer camps rather than summer students, closed up Friday until September. Which don’t get me started, our city has a staggering amount of homeless when an entire dorm building sits vacant for almost three months. Ridiculous, but that’s another rant. As it turned out, the restroom crews were over staffed once the one building closed so there were some layoffs, only got five weeks pay but better than nothing I guess. Honestly the job was terrible anyway, one morning my ankles gave out and I collapsed from all the crouching I’d been doing. Lost quite a bit of wait though and our minimum wage went up to $10.25 so that was nice. Back to babysitting for me until they find something new for me though, and realistically I only make $0.25 less an hour. Started back up with checking Craigslist for jobs too. Plus now with experiance and a number to jot down for starting pay I hope to have more luck. And of course writing submissions…

This whole summer job thing has really taught me a lot about our state, and country’s, unemployment problem. Businesses and organizations are not so much in need of workers anymore but most people are in need of jobs (money and hours) so that they can afford things like water, food, and shelter. No kidding, one of my work colleagues I over heard talking to her daughter, before clocking out from UO housing and going to her second job at Papa John’s, about how there water would get shut off the following week if they didn’t pay their bill as soon as direct deposit cleared. It’s sick, and then I know many people (like say the speaker of the house) who would call this woman lazy! This is not an issue that American’s should be facing but sadly more are than not.

Like I said though, I’m thankful for Galt and I’m thankful to be moving on. I did learn some mad respect for custodians though! Shoot, don’t be an animal in those restrooms. Remember someone has to clean all that mess up.